I'm 37 now. Most of my friends my age are just now having babies or are thinking about it. Ken and I have no desire to raise children ourselves, and honestly not a lot of interest in babies. But I get it now, how natural and deep the experience of having children is. And so I'm very happy for all my friends who are having kids.

The one thing I ask of my friends and readers: if you're going to have kids, please do it soon. I worry for my friends who are waiting to 35, 40 before deciding to have a baby. I hadn't understood this, but making babies is actually pretty difficult. And it only gets harder the older you get. For instance, six week miscarriage rates go from 15% on average up to 42% at age 40.

Many of my friends having kids now have had some sort of trouble: difficulty in conceiving, or a miscarriage, or a scare at birth. Fortunately everyone's turned out OK and they're happy parents to happy children. As far as I know, none of them regret waiting. But even if waiting until you're 35 to have kids is pretty common in the US now, consider not putting it off any longer than you need to.

  2009-04-06 19:11 Z